AnonymousLawStudent

The half-truths, omissions, and outright lies about floating through law school.

Tuesday 03/08/05

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

I am in line to get some breakfast this morning and some moronic 3L who I know starts talking to me. I am trying to just move along with my muffin and not be too obvious that I am staring at the ripple of the electric blue thong sticking out of the $200 jeans of the smoking-hot Japanese girl picking up napkins off the floor. Instead of being able to concentrate, I must endure forced small talk. Where am I going this summer? To a firm in New York. Oh which one? I name it. The 3L is impressed as he is fumbling around looking for a quarter. I would give him one if he wasn't so damn annoying but instead I will hold onto it in case I need to do laundry later this month. Finally he volunteers where he will be working after graduation. I don't know why, it's a pretty shitty firm. He must have not done very well.

"You know, I hear they are going to raise associate salaries. If not this year then the next. These firms have been losing mid-level associates...[lisp as he bites into bagel] in troves..." I don't say anything to that except to grunt but where OH where do these morons come from? First of all, even if SOME firm out there raises salaries, it is by no means automatic that your piece of shit firm will join the fray. Then, even if that did happen, it would just cut into the bonus that they pay now. And finally, in some off chance that total compensation did go up in its totality, all that would mean would be more forced layoffs. The billing rates can only go so high and the partners are sure as shit not taking any pay cuts.

More importantly though, losing mid-levels is how the firm is structured. If 100 first years start, the big firm doesnt WANT more than oh, I don't know, 20-30 fourth years, if that. The salaries went up in the boom-boom 90s when associates would leave in EXTRAordinary amounts and that was only possible because there was a whole universe of non-legal employers willing to throw down some cash. Oh dot comes, where have you gone?

Far be it from me to delve into the heart of law economics but it amazes me how little thought most law students give to their potential employers. The supermajority of law students have no idea how firms operate, what the valuable practice areas are, what the fuck a billable hour is and why it is there. It's amazing. Is it a function of being a graduate student or are lawyers just inherently so poorly endowed with a sense of the real world that they just act so completely fucking stupid? I wonder if med students waltz into a hospital when they graduate and have no idea how a hospital makes it money and what it does to stay afloat. Do physics PhDs slave away for years on manipulating greek letters without any thought of how labs or universities operate?

My muffin was terrible by the way. Last fucking time I eat one of those around here.

6 Comments:

At 10:35 AM, Blogger G. said...

I have several classmates who went straight through from high school to college to law school. When we were interviewing as 2Ls, one of them could not be disabused of the notion that billable hours would equal the number of hours spent at work. Even when people tried to explain to him why this was not true, he reasoned that he would just be more "efficient" than his peers. Naturally, he ended up at one of the most notorious sweatshops in our area.

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger G. said...

I have several classmates who went straight through from high school to college to law school. When we were interviewing as 2Ls, one of them could not be disabused of the notion that billable hours would equal the number of hours spent at work. Even when people tried to explain to him why this was not true, he reasoned that he would just be more "efficient" than his peers. Naturally, he ended up at one of the most notorious sweatshops in our area.

 
At 8:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you hear that sound? That's this blog fizzling out.

Too bad, I liked this one.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger ALS said...

"Can you hear that sound? That's this blog fizzling out.

Too bad, I liked this one"

Don't give up on me just yet. I was too drunk to write most of last week but more bullshit nonsense is coming!

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger ALS said...

"Naturally, he ended up at one of the most notorious sweatshops in our area."

I shall have more to say about "sweatshops" later...

Now where is the bottle of scotch I stole from the hotel bar? I could have sworn it was in my suitcase.

 
At 11:30 PM, Blogger Roberto Iza Valdes said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

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