AnonymousLawStudent

The half-truths, omissions, and outright lies about floating through law school.

Sunday 03/06/05

Sunday, March 06, 2005

I have seen a lot of pretty awful people in my day: soulless fratboys, angry crackheads making demands on my money, worthless foreigners, but no one gets my blood boiling quite as much as the GirlLookingForHusband. Well that's not true. But I just ran into one this weekend and I am just pissed off. I was a few drinks in, as per usual, when I found myself in a particularly dark corner of a particularly dark bar near the Bowery talking to a blonde who did not seem alltogether bad looking. She did seem to be showing an awful lot of interest in basically hearing my resume recited. In my drunkeness I assumed that she was interested in the same thing as I was--a trip back to her place for a little reactreation of William Jefferson Clinton & Intern, followed by perhaps a delivered pizza and the Cartoon Network. In fact she was just trying to approximate my lifetime earnings potential. When she was a few drinks in and instead of making out with me on a couch, as good taste would indicate, had the poor poor POOR taste to inform me that if she still single by 30 she will shoot herself or move back to her midwestern suburb, I knew exactly what was going on. Ah yes, another GirlLookingForHusband.

If you have lived in a major urban center, you have seen her too. She is between 25 and 30 [after that she is no longer a "Girl"], she came from an nice--but not TOO nice--upper middle-class home, she at one point had the potential to do something socially productive with herself but quickly lost all motivation to do anything and now is just looking for a man to hang onto. She watches a lot of romantic comedies, drinks a lot of cosmos, and skanks herself up for at least an hour and a half before going anywhere, and is generally borderline intolerable in conversation. There is a good reason why she is single: if you are the kind of guy to be in a committed relationship, you would run like hell from her. She isn't interesting or particurly bright but she IS needy and hopelessly, terribly boring. Like a Potamnkin Village, undernearth her low-plunging top and short short skirt she is probably wearing underwear big enough to parachute herself down the Chrysler Building.

This species has also apparently found a home in law school. Now I am not saying that every young woman I know who is a budding lawyer falls along those lines but sadly enough of them do. They have come not for the JD but for the MRS. They go to the firm receptions for 1Ls and make with the sexy at the herds of male associates that come before them. They go on an endless stream of dates with guys in their mid-30s, hoping to catch lightning in a bottle.

The one nice about them though? If they go to class at all they at least don't try to make asinine comments in class because they have, as a rule, not done the reading. Heavy duty dating takes a lot of time.

75 Comments:

At 5:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're showing gay proclivities again...

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger ALS said...

"You're showing gay proclivities again..."

I bet there was ownership of a Trans Am and/or pick up truck somewhere in your past.

 
At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The GirlLookingForHusband (or "the Predator" in my own lexicon) is indeed a frightening breed. I had the misfortune of working with a number of them. They tend to aggregate in urban centers and watch "Sex in the City" while drinking wine. They can't understand why their lives aren't full of Manolo Blahnik shoes and new boyfriends every week like the characters on the show. Isn't that what the life of a single woman in NYC is all about? They are constantly operating in dating's DEFCON 1 (not 5) mode, or Code Red, or Amber Alert, or whatever the highest state of national distress is called these days. ALS' comments do not reflect his homosexual proclivities, they are an accurate description of a particularly annoying sub-set of our culture.

I would like to see your comments on categories of law profs. They should include "I am the smartest person on the planet," "I am the coolest person on the planet," and "My over-arching theory of the law is supreme to all others." Discuss.

 
At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The GirlLookingForHusband (or "the Predator" in my own lexicon) is indeed a frightening breed. I had the misfortune of working with a number of them. They tend to aggregate in urban centers and watch "Sex in the City" while drinking wine. They can't understand why their lives aren't full of Manolo Blahnik shoes and new boyfriends every week like the characters on the show. Isn't that what the life of a single woman in NYC is all about? They are constantly operating in dating's DEFCON 1 (not 5) mode, or Code Red, or Amber Alert, or whatever the highest state of national distress is called these days. ALS' comments do not reflect his homosexual proclivities, they are an accurate description of a particularly annoying sub-set of our culture.

I would like to see your comments on categories of law profs. They should include "I am the smartest person on the planet," "I am the coolest person on the planet," and "My over-arching theory of the law is supreme to all others." Discuss.

 
At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The GirlLookingForHusband (or "the Predator" in my own lexicon) is indeed a frightening breed. I had the misfortune of working with a number of them. They tend to aggregate in urban centers and watch "Sex in the City" while drinking wine. They can't understand why their lives aren't full of Manolo Blahnik shoes and new boyfriends every week like the characters on the show. Isn't that what the life of a single woman in NYC is all about? They are constantly operating in dating's DEFCON 1 (not 5) mode, or Code Red, or Amber Alert, or whatever the highest state of national distress is called these days. ALS' comments do not reflect his homosexual proclivities, they are an accurate description of a particularly annoying sub-set of our culture.

I would like to see your comments on categories of law profs. They should include "I am the smartest person on the planet," "I am the coolest person on the planet," and "My over-arching theory of the law is supreme to all others." Discuss.

 
At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The GirlLookingForHusband (or "the Predator" in my own lexicon) is indeed a frightening breed. I had the misfortune of working with a number of them. They tend to aggregate in urban centers and watch "Sex in the City" while drinking wine. They can't understand why their lives aren't full of Manolo Blahnik shoes and new boyfriends every week like the characters on the show. Isn't that what the life of a single woman in NYC is all about? They are constantly operating in dating's DEFCON 1 (not 5) mode, or Code Red, or Amber Alert, or whatever the highest state of national distress is called these days. ALS' comments do not reflect his homosexual proclivities, they are an accurate description of a particularly annoying sub-set of our culture.

I would like to see your comments on categories of law profs. They should include "I am the smartest person on the planet," "I am the coolest person on the planet," and "My over-arching theory of the law is supreme to all others." Discuss.

 
At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The GirlLookingForHusband (or "the Predator" in my own lexicon) is indeed a frightening breed. I had the misfortune of working with a number of them. They tend to aggregate in urban centers and watch "Sex in the City" while drinking wine. They can't understand why their lives aren't full of Manolo Blahnik shoes and new boyfriends every week like the characters on the show. Isn't that what the life of a single woman in NYC is all about? They are constantly operating in dating's DEFCON 1 (not 5) mode, or Code Red, or Amber Alert, or whatever the highest state of national distress is called these days. ALS' comments do not reflect his homosexual proclivities, they are an accurate description of a particularly annoying sub-set of our culture.

I would like to see your comments on categories of law profs. They should include "I am the smartest person on the planet," "I am the coolest person on the planet," and "My over-arching theory of the law is supreme to all others." Discuss.

 
At 4:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Potamkin Village... Nice analogy, Very classy, very hilarious.

 
At 5:23 PM, Blogger Law Slave said...

Very amusing. In my class we call those girls "the back row girls." They also have matching Uggs, slouchy boots, and jeans. Very, very sad. Actually, most of those girls have recently gotten engaged. Surprising?

 
At 12:51 AM, Blogger ALS said...

"I would like to see your comments on categories of law profs. They should include "I am the smartest person on the planet," "I am the coolest person on the planet," and "My over-arching theory of the law is supreme to all others." Discuss."

What made you think that I did requests? And did you sit down on a tack or something when pushing the "login and publish" button?

"They also have matching Uggs, slouchy boots, and jeans. Very, very sad. Actually, most of those girls have recently gotten engaged. Surprising?"
Starter marriage!!!

 
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