AnonymousLawStudent

The half-truths, omissions, and outright lies about floating through law school.

Wednesday 02/02/05

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

I had to go see the Prof. I am assisting with his crazy critial legal studies research today.
I knock on the mahogany door and get no answer. Hanging out for a while, then all of two and a half bills of his secretary waddles down the hall and informs me that he is in his office and I should knock harder. I do and he is indeed inside, fiddling with the wheel of his iPod. "Baby I Got Your Money" is blaring loudly out of the earbud he has just put down. The new direction in crit scholarship is extracting messages of majoritarian oppression from, um urban music. The Prof puts down the iPod and finally turns it off and without any hint of apology for making me wait outside announces that he was listening to "Old Dirty Daddy." I fidget uncomfortably, to which he corrects himself.
-"Old Dirty Man. ODM."
-"...Bastard."
-"What?!"
-"Um....Old Dirty Bastard. His name was Old Dirty Bastard." I knew I shouldn't have said anything. He is looking at me with a mixture of disdain and disguist. He is supposed to be interpreting the angst of the inner city, not some kid who used to make out with strangers to the song at frat parties.
-"Well no matter, he was shot a while ago. Very sad."
At this point I know I shouldn't say anything but it is just bubbling up inside me.
-"He ODd."
-"Excuse me?" He takes a big meaty swig from a bottle of European bottled water with an unpronouncable name.
-"Old Dirty Bastard overdosed. Drugs. He wasn't shot."
At this point it is clear that it is time to leave. The Old Dirty Man is now mad as hell and there is nothing I can do.

18 Comments:

At 12:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now go tell the Prof about TwoPick or ToothPack and SomeLargeBastard getting in a fight.

I better not see you at the ABCNY event.

 
At 12:16 AM, Blogger ALS said...

"Now go tell the Prof about TwoPick or ToothPack and SomeLargeBastard getting in a fight.

I better not see you at the ABCNY event."

I think "Tupac v. Biggie" would make for a fine symposium issue of a law journal. Whoever can connect the deaths to the Supreme Court opinion in City of Boerne v. Flores should automatically get tenure.

And no ABCNY for me. Just not my style.

 
At 12:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude, you're assisting a critegal prof. you talking style now?

 
At 12:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

instead of tenure, i hear we'll soon have a new CJ. We gotta get him to D.C.Cir. posthaste.

 
At 1:02 AM, Blogger ALS said...

"dude, you're assisting a critegal prof. you talking style now?"

Sadly, he is very well connected.

 
At 1:03 AM, Blogger ALS said...

"instead of tenure, i hear we'll soon have a new CJ. We gotta get him to D.C.Cir. posthaste."

I think a Crit as Chief Justice would make for a great sitcom. Does CourTV have any comedy programming yet?

 
At 9:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this blog sucks...if you're trying to be like anonymous lawyer you failed miserably. if you're not trying to be like AL you failed miserably. no wit, none at all.

 
At 2:28 AM, Blogger Law Slave said...

i think your postings rock. i am also a law student and everyone thinks i am an asshole - i have all my friends (mostly law students) read you postings b/c you happen to be a little more obnoxious than i am. As far as anonymous goes - he/she can shut up!!! I think this is one of the best blogs i have read. And - question - are you from NY??? You are obnoxious like me - so just assuming

 
At 10:46 AM, Blogger ALS said...

"this blog sucks...if you're trying to be like anonymous lawyer you failed miserably. if you're not trying to be like AL you failed miserably. no wit, none at all."

I suck both because I am trying to be like AL and because I am not AL? That's a lot of sucking!

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger ALS said...

" I think this is one of the best blogs i have read."

Thank you, Julie. Sadly the level of discourse is rather low in this democracy of ours.

"And - question - are you from NY??? You are obnoxious like me - so just assuming"

I am indeed spending my formative mid 20s in the Big Apple. If that alone doesn't make me an asshole, I don't know what does.

 
At 6:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not the "Anonymous" who said this blog sucks. I'm the former i-banker anonymous that talked about Tupac, D.C. Circuit, and American Psycho. I find this blog quite amusing.

If you stop pretending NYC is in the Pacific Timezone (see post times), I'll stop being Anonymous.

 
At 7:42 PM, Blogger ALS said...

"If you stop pretending NYC is in the Pacific Timezone (see post times), I'll stop being Anonymous."

I am not pretending anything. I am just too incompetent to change the times. How do I go about doing that?

 
At 7:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. hit your Blogger button at right
2. hit Change Settings button next to your name
3. hit Settings tab
4. hit Formatting menu button
5. change Time Zone to UTC -05:00 (America/New York)

I hate technologically inept lawyers. And don't even get me started on stupid Westlaw or Lexis...

Don't even try to front as Incompetent Attorney ("IA") either.

 
At 8:00 PM, Blogger ALS said...

"I hate technologically inept lawyers. And don't even get me started on stupid Westlaw or Lexis..."

I am imagining you writing this from a basement somewhere with a large bag of chips in front of you.

 
At 8:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try 14th floor with a Family Size bag of chips. Pshaw!

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger Peatey said...

Alright, no more anonymous. Howdy i-bank haters.

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger ALS said...

"Alright, no more anonymous. Howdy i-bank haters."

Howdy indeed.

Let me clarify though: I don't hate i-bankers. I hate the losers who got to the bottom chain of the i-banking pyramid, got forced out and then walk around with their chests puffed out like they are hot shit.

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger Peatey said...

ALS, I agree many 'i-bank' starters were hired during the boom. But the labor market for 22-26 year-olds also has been truly atrocious since 2001. Unless you know your derivatives it probably isn't wise to classify a former-i-banker as a bottom of the pyramid material just because he or she is in lawschool.

 

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