The half-truths, omissions, and outright lies about floating through law school.

How to Write a Friendster Profile [Male Edition]

Monday, February 07, 2005

Gender: not a lot of leeway there.
Interested in Meeting people for: If you actually have anything other than "Friends" and/or "Activity Partners" you are one pathetic loser.
Status: Can get tricky when you are starting to date someone. Don't bother with this one.
Age: Not a lot of leeway there either.
Location: Say where you are. Don't try to be funny.
Hometown: Say where you are from.
Occupation: Say something obnoxious like "navel inspector" or "man in suit."
Companies: If you actually name any real companies your status will be "single" forever.
Schools: Use only one name for each. As in: Groton/Yale/OfHardKnocks.
College/University: No need to repeat from above.
Affiliation: This is your chance to shine and be witty. So be witty.
Hobbiest and Interests: Sound interesting without actually naming any. Hobbies are lame.
Favorite Books: Try to combine the pretentious, the lowbrow, and the professional. Something along the lines of: James Joyce, Tom Wolfe, Financial Analysis of Derivative Instruments. Oh and throw in some obnoxious philospher treatise to show the opposite sex how deep you are.
Favorite Music: Think of the most asinine, unbearable indie bands that just plain suck. Now name them. The more obscture the better.
Favorite TV Shows: No one cool watches TV anymore. Except for Curb Your Enthusiasm. That's cool.
About Me: A long rambling list of things you enjoy doing. Here is where you throw in that you lift weights regularly.
Who I Want to Meet: Name a D-list celebrity from the 80s.


At 10:54 PM, Blogger Peatey said...

Glad you found Friendster after it jumped the shark:

"Friendster, which helped define hot new Internet facet dubbed 'social networking,' is troubled by rapid executive turnover and is being eclipsed in United States among those in most highly coveted 18 to 29 demographic by younger, flashier rival MySpace; Friendster loyalists complain company has done little to enliven its site; former employee says stress on infrastructure to keep up with growth has kept company from rolling out needed new features."

At 10:55 PM, Blogger Peatey said...

Sorry I seem to come off as a dick. I'm trying to fit in here. ;)

At 9:08 PM, Blogger ALS said...

"Sorry I seem to come off as a dick. I'm trying to fit in here. ;)"

In case you haven't noticed, the larger theme here is being a dick.

Oh, and I was on friendster way before it became the cesspool it now is.

At 6:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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