AnonymousLawStudent

The half-truths, omissions, and outright lies about floating through law school.

How to Dress Like an Asshole [former i-banker in Law School edition]

Friday, February 04, 2005

1. Start with a tasteful pair of leather shoes. Add designer logo and 250% price increase. We would not want anyone to miss that.
2. No denim whatsoever. Only pants you can wear to the old country club will do. Denim is for poor people and you are not poor. Or if you are you most certainly can't dress like you are.
3. Light colored dress shirt under dark colored sweater. Bonus points if the dress shirt's manufacturer is identified by what little of it is sticking out. Extra bonus points if the sweater is from Brooks Brothers.
4. Cup of coffee. While not technically an item of dress, this accessory is permanently in your hand so it might as well be. How could you possibly be expected to provide meandering monologues on the highs and lows of your former career in class without your cup o'joe?
5. Obnoxious scarf draped around your rather inconsiderable shoulders [you will only attend a gym with a personal trainer, or none at all]. You will begin wearing it at the first sign of cold weather and straight through May since it just makes you look so darn dignified.

Add endless stories about how f-ing cool you were when you were "banking" and you are ready to be this breed of asshole.

141 Comments:

At 5:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh... I really was in banking...

 
At 5:53 PM, Blogger ALS said...

"Uh... I really was in banking..."

Then I am guessing people want to kill you any time the words "closing dinner" come out of your mouth.

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger Rufus said...

Man, those assholes were in my class 13 or so years ago, and in Federal Securities Regulation they all had to share ther stories about the crash of 1987. Bunch of doucebags.

 
At 6:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah yes, fond memories...

 
At 7:40 PM, Blogger ALS said...

"Man, those assholes were in my class 13 or so years ago, and in Federal Securities Regulation they all had to share ther stories about the crash of 1987. Bunch of doucebags."

Well they are alive and well today. That 90s bubble is still being sorted out I guess.

 
At 8:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stop bellyaching.

Bob Rubin, YLS, Cleary, Gottlieb. Then he wises up and goes to Goldman Sachs.

You know you want to do the same, admit it.

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger ALS said...

"Stop bellyaching.

Bob Rubin, YLS, Cleary, Gottlieb. Then he wises up and goes to Goldman Sachs.

You know you want to do the same, admit it."

That's a terrible example. That guy would be great at anything, he's clearly a genius. Why don't we bring up Bruce Wasserstein as well.

So yes you are right I would love to be Robert Rubin. Any chance he could adopt me?

 
At 8:32 PM, Blogger Peatey said...

I asked him first. Once he takes me in, I'll put in a good word.

 
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"I asked him first. Once he takes me in, I'll put in a good word."

Please do, I am a good Democrat.

 
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